According to the Futon Critic, "Criminal Minds," CBS's new Mandy Patinkin show--yes, I did, in fact just alert you to the fact that Mandy ("You Killed My Father") Patinkin will finally expand his repertoire from the touring company of AstraZeneca heartburn-pill TV ads--will, in fact, debut on September 22. And yes, that also means that Papa Can You Hear Me Patinkin will milk even further the increasingly evident bile-producing edge he flaunts in his tummyache ads. For his role in said primetime drama will be one of "lead mind-hunter." You see, apparently, as singing Jews age, they begin to look capable of making invasive explorations into dark depths--stomachs, brains, what have you. Which may account for why my gastroenterologist always appeared to be peering into the subconscious of a serial killer when he returned to me the results of various acid-reflux tests. The real lesson to be learned here? Let your bile work for you. Just because you used to make millions causing with your oh-so-tender voice nice Brooklyn moms to kvell doesn't mean you have to feel bad about your ability to turn that tenderness into the sheer, unadulterated world-hating for which only the role of a "mindhunter" on a "serious" CBS crime drama calls.