It's been some time since we contributed an original O.C. political report, and even though it would please us at GS headquarters as much as the next Seth Cohen-wannabe to mock the oh-so-subtle "switch to Cingular" message present in the first ad campaign for Motorola's iTunes phone** (which conveniently ran during The O.C. premiere's first commercial break), we couldn't exactly let all of Josh Schwartz's hidden political messages go. So much has changed, after all, since Seth embodied the Bush presidency's feelings about people who make less than $100,000 a year by announcing to fresh-faced Summer: "I just can't be friends with you!"
Now innocent rich girls (Ok, just Marissa) are taking the heat for shooting people ("You were saving Ryan's life," Summer tells her friend as the two chaise-loungers ride out the summer, Bush-style, before the storm hits). Next question: How much longer is Peter Gallagher's sensibly liberal ex-D.A. character going to conceal his true identity: a composite representation of the few mindful media figures who can make sense of what's really going wrong in a government that runs like a schlocky soap opera, pulling its alibi stories together as quickly as a Burbank-based writers' room hopped up on Red Bull, its cracked out spin doctors trying to satisfy yet another new network deadline. And what of W.-possessed Kirsten, the mom who, sniff sniff, turned to the bottle because of her poor, overbearing father: "I realized I was living his life, not mine," she cries in a high-tuition rehab center. "No matter how hard I worked or how hard I tried to please him it was never enough." Equally casual, soothsayer Seth "Josh Schwartz" Cohen didn't slip the "It's amazing what laundered money could buy" comment past us when discussing the opulent sailboat the kids just happen to land for a sun-drenched Baywatch-style beach romance video. And it has to be Julie Cooper who Schwartz is trying to pin as his Karl Rove puppet, paying off as she does irresponsible criminals to send their brothers down the so-called river. If only other displaced Americans could sail away from their troubles and ride out life’s tragedies on Catalina. If only real people didn't pay off government authorities to sweep important mistakes under the rug. If only the show wasn’t G-rated, and Marissa and Summer’s candy striper outfits didn’t have to be so, well, G rated. Oh, are we glad to have you back, O.C. politicos. Keep the gunshots (and deceptions) flying, and please don’t get too Bush-like and let us down in our time of need.
**And let’s not forget the new impossibly bad syntax of Apple’s new iPod Nano ad campaign: the product is -- according to the language Steve Jobs signed off on -- “impossibly small” and therefore, you know, nonexistent in a reality where words actually have literal definitions. You know, because they're... words?