Many of you have written in to congratulate me on my engagement--as well as to ask me how it all happened. I thank you but will keep some of it for myself--and for Lina. Although you can surmise what happened at the Carbon Beach ring-giving ceremony. And I will divulge the gift I gave my gorgeous partner in crime before the traditional but glowing blood stone. For now, simply say hello to one of only two existing T-shirts left from my 1990 Bar Mitzvah (theme: jukeboxes and records!), designed and drawn by yours truly. Now tell me I wasted my time with writing and music. And sorry ladies, I'm taken now. As for the lame male set lacking originality (that means you, wannabe Ari Golds), do not run out and design yourself a vintage BM shirt now; we all know your simcha lacked T-shirts so daddy could just barely afford the home equity loan necessary for that giant kareoke recording booth next to the Viennese table.