December 15, 2006 – "The creepy chauffeur accused of blackmailing Yoko Ono for $2 million led his own double fantasy - claiming they made sweet music together as the Beatle widow's lover…Koral "Koko" Karsan, 50, cornered Ono in the kitchen of her apartment at The Dakota last Friday and read his demands in a bizarre, typed letter, according to a source close to the probe. 'I've been your confidant, your bodyguard and your lover' Karsan read out. A stunned and furious Ono couldn't believe her ears and told Karsan to get back - to reality. 'My lover? You're my chauffeur!' she snapped. The $2 million demand, made on the 26th anniversary of her husband John Lennon's murder, so shook Ono, she threw her pocketbook at the wall, the source said - allegedly rompting a dark threat from Karsan. 'I'll see you in court or I'll see you in hell!" Karsan allegedly said. "It could go either way. I don't care.'"—The New York Post
First, allow me I should introduce myself. My name is Aram. I am 48 years old, grey hair (not like Steve Martin, more like George Clooney!), very strong arms. I am skilled driver, good with all cars and vans and limos. I work for many racing competitions! I follow the NASCAR. I currently drive at your American company Super Shuttle near fabulous Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, California.
This is how I learn about your distress, when New York producer of many movies should leave copy of your New York Post on my seat. Oh, Yoko, I am great fan of your John Lennon. War Is Over If We Want It! Also, I drive many famous celebrities--yesterday the fabulous rock-and-roll-a-billy singer Billie Rayo Cyrus. In 1970s in Italy I even test "prototypes" for Fiat. (Fiats are not very good cars, I know this, but perhaps you will not hold such obscene nonsense against me.)
Why I really write you? To offer my services, plain and simple say. This will be the last letter you receive from drivers. It will change your life!
For beginning, I must admit on you, I have learn that this piece of horrid refuse you have fought with and fired as your chauffeur enjoyed salaries of up to $160,000. That is much money, and I do not need more than half that! Especially for driving in New York City, where it is healthy and fun to walk! Yoko, I also am a good friend as well as a master of auto machines. I also visit New York City many times to stay with my dear daughter Ani. Ani is technician at big film theater near your grandiose Lincoln Center. I know your neighborhood. I shall walk you safely from your Dakota to any destination. Ani says on phonecall your nearby Whole Foods market sells many specialties from my country, and I, too, think it is in best interest celebrity should eat organic produce. But I digress: Driving!
When I become driver for person of grand significance like you and John Lennon!, I take position seriously. I never tape conversation. I never snap digital picture. I spit on paparazzi, and my spit smells bad!
I am a safe bet. You are beautiful but I never desecrate memory of your John Lennon by becoming your lover. I love from afar. It is nourishing love. You will never use word "creepy" about me. Your heart will fill with goodness when you see my smile! I always keep chocol in my van (it is a Ford, by the way, VERY AMERICAN!). I will feed you this chocol when you are down. It is dark chocol. It has many "anti-oxidants." Your John Lennon is no longer here but I will work to help you live long life. If only I one day can afford very sexy electric car so I don't harm our ozone environment and your baby Sean's grandchildren who are so sweet and radiant even though they have not yet been born. (Perhaps this is something we can talk about in car once you hired me to be last driver you will ever need.) Not for nothing, as you New Yorkers say!, but Ani is very exquisitie and big music plus art fan. I am not saying you will definitely wanting to hire me for your new job. There are certainly many powerful and seductive parties you might entertain even if they will never fight for the legacy of your princely John Lennon the way I will. If you feel like you would like to "give this man a chance," however, I can promise you Ani will make many more "beautiful boys" for which any grandparent "will need only love."
I think position of driver is intimate one. "Just the Two of us, Sunday driving!" Will you consider this?
I am not make illusions to physical intimacy, Yoko, but spiritual closeness. I know you are spiritual, Yoko. I feel power of something larger than ourselves just like you. Imagine, Yoko. Imagine if all people in the earth feel this same power! You might not have had such a disgusting excuse for human being as your chauffeur. I might not currently have opportunity to become member of your employ! Give Peace A Chance, I always say. I also frequently say Give Aram A Chance.
I know how it feels like outsider, Yoko. To be artist no one understands. I make video at home and post them on the Word Wide Webs! These are artistic video. They are "conceptual." Perhaps once we get to know one another you will want to see them. Perhaps you will star in one! Perhaps we can make a difference... But I get ahead of myself. I should like become your driver first. That is all. Just the powerful, beloved man who gets you from place to place. I consider this humble honor. I am humble, Yoko. I do not think myself great, just loving and adequate. A "working class hero." Never a "Jealous Guy."
Yoko, if you should want inquire further about my abilities and interests and great talents, I am happy to furnish you in-person meeting. Perhaps in my car I buy for Ani that she keeps at taxi station. It is a Lincoln but not too fancy. I do not like leather interiors. I love animals. "Instant Karma" baby! I also do not fight people for parking spots, or cut off cars. I do not speed. I am efficient driver. I see roads like I see chess board. I think out routes. I am constantly, how you say, "Watching the Wheels" in my head. There are no "Mind Games" with me. If someone thought such things, it would "Cripple Me Inside."
Now, write me, and perhaps I soon get you a new ticket to ride!