Russell DeFonzo, a
25-assist-per-game, half-Jewish point-guard with a killer crossover and
red-spiked hair, who will eventually break from the group in 9th
grade and end up dropping out of school to run a sports gambling arm of
a local crew loosely associated with his single father's
Hey, they couldn't all have majored in political science.
Get ready, everyone. Because this winter, Shallot stars in a new movie, playing a man who tried to kill Hitler. It's not Claus von Stauffenberg. But trust us, this is the litmus test for Anti-Evil. Xenu told us through our Speak & Spell last night.Take that, protestors.
It's not fun to be a hater (although it's probably fun to be the brilliant Bill Hader). But all this Fallon-mania over the last few days reminded Shallot that he'd written a couple pieces for The New Republic years ago that may have been prescient in the wake of Jimmy Fallon's vlog debut and Conan's preparation for LA. So Shallot, never one to be shy about skewing self-referential, wrote a few words on his previous work. Does it still hold up? Is Jimmy making tons of money when the rest of the country is eating ramen noodles? Find out in the New Republic.