Glass Shallot by Adam Baer

WE DO THE THING TO DO FOR: DEC 31

Ah, home

Surprise, the book is empty! (We'll be here--in the virtual Catskills, that is--all week.)

Hoop Dreams for Hanukkah

McSweeney's jumped right into Shallot life with its recent Recreational Jewish Youth Basketball: An Ethnography. Our contribution to the team?

Russell DeFonzo, a 25-assist-per-game, half-Jewish point-guard with a killer crossover and red-spiked hair, who will eventually break from the group in 9th grade and end up dropping out of school to run a sports gambling arm of a local crew loosely associated with his single father's Pontiac-leasing business.

Hey, they couldn't all have majored in political science.

Shallot: The Answer to Evil

Get ready, everyone. Because this winter, Shallot stars in a new movie, playing a man who tried to kill Hitler. It's not Claus von Stauffenberg. But trust us, this is the litmus test for Anti-Evil. Xenu told us through our Speak & Spell last night.Take that, protestors.

Jimmy One-Note

It's not fun to be a hater (although it's probably fun to be the brilliant Bill Hader). But all this Fallon-mania over the last few days reminded Shallot that he'd written a couple pieces for The New Republic years ago that may have been prescient in the wake of Jimmy Fallon's vlog debut and Conan's preparation for LA. So Shallot, never one to be shy about skewing self-referential, wrote a few words on his previous work. Does it still hold up? Is Jimmy making tons of money when the rest of the country is eating ramen noodles? Find out in the New Republic.

A Black Guy, a Priest, and a Rabbi Walk into the White House...

Don't worry, an Obama presidency won't mean the end of comedy. Or will it?

See (and laugh with) my latest piece for GQ with quotes from David Alan Grier, Lewis Black, Garry Shandling, and more!